


I’m alone with all my thoughts (so i gotta drink em up till I’m numb)

by kyo1



Series: I’m trying to fill up all the silence (with all these vices) [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: LMAO, Other, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Has Issues, Peter Parker Needs a Break, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker has a drug addiction, Peter is depressed, Poor Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Underage Alcohol Consumption, angsty, drug overdose, drugs use, i just feel sorry for him, not money poor, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:34:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25908940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyo1/pseuds/kyo1
Summary: 3rd part of the seriesWhat happens when Peter arrives at the lake house?
Relationships: Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: I’m trying to fill up all the silence (with all these vices) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1871641
Comments: 6
Kudos: 103





	I’m alone with all my thoughts (so i gotta drink em up till I’m numb)

He walked along the side of the road, money in hand. His worn out and tattered converse kicking the stones. He arrived at the store, buying cheap wine and two vodka bottles. He showed his ID and walked out with a brown bag hidden inside his jacket.

He walked back to the lake house. He entered silently and tiptoed to his room. He went inside his room , he locked the door behind him and when he turned around he saw Mister Stark sitting on his bed.

“Where were you?” Tony asked sternly, but not angry.

“I-I was taking a walk” Peter answered nervously, hand instinctively reaching up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

Tony narrowed his eyes slightly. “Oh really ? At 2 am?” He asked.

“Y-Yeah mhmm, couldn’t sleep. I uh wanted to tire myself out a bit” Peter replied.

Tony sighed, stood up and walked towards Peter “Alright kiddo, get some sleep ok? And if you can’t sleep, please come to my room. You gave me quite the scare” Tony said with a strained smile.

“Ok sorry Mister Stark’’

“It’s ok, call me Tony kid.”

“Ok Mister Stark” Peter smirked.

When Tony left Peter pulled out the bag and took a sip out of the vodka. He immediately felt better.

During the night, he finished both bottles, keeping one vodka bottle hidden for tomorrow.

He doesn’t know when it got so easy. When the lies about his age to the cashier slipped right past his lips. How his hands don’t hurt from tipping the bottles towards his mouth. How his arm hasn’t caught an infection. How his nostrils don’t hurt. How his throat, although swollen and battered, doesn’t bother him.

He doesn’t know how it got so easy.

But he doesn’t know how to forget. God, how he wishes he could forget. Chase those few seconds of pure bliss. Waves of nothingness and everything crash inside him. And he doesn’t know how to feel because he doesn’t feel. Doesn’t know how to forget because he cant. And doesn’t know how to stop because he doesn’t want to.

As bottles of liquor lay surrounding him and blade in hand, Peter decides he likes it.

He likes the hurting (although he never hurts, he never feels). He likes the airy feeling of being weightless. He likes the copper red staining his arms. He likes it, he likes it, he likes it...

A knock disturbs him from his thoughts.   
“Wake up kiddo, we are going to the lake” Peter hears Mister Stark say.

He groans into his blankets, slowly getting out of his bed. He’s hungover , he notices distantly, but he’s gone to school drunk and high, this is nothing.

He gets dressed, swimming trunks and a long sleeve beach shirt.

He looks in the mirror , and he looks like shit, but he looks the same as yesterday so he so he should be fine. And maybe his eyes are a little red, but that’s fine, he totally just got shampoo in his eyes when he was showering.

“Morning kid, how are you?” Tony asks as Peter walks down the stairs. 

“Good, good. Em, we are going to the lake now?” Peter asks.

“Yep, Pepper made sandwiches, so we taking them down to the dock” Tony answers as he and Peter walk out of the house.

“Hey Peter” Pepper smiled but then frowned. “Isn’t it a little hot out for a long sleeve? I thought that with the sun you’d like to tan” 

“It’s fine, doesn’t bother me” Peter replied, not missing Tonys suspicious look.

While Morgan and Pepper played in the lake , Tony and Peter stayed at the dock.

“So, how has it been kid?” Tony asked. “How’s school?”

“It’s been good, same old same old.” Peter answered.

“Mhm. Peter i wanted to talk to you about something. I am not mad at you but... i noticed your grades are dropping. Not that i expect you to be perfect because nobody is, but is everything actually alright?” Tony asked. “And don’t lie with that ‘I’m fine’ bullshit. I know it’s not true”

Peter sighed softly. “Everything is fine, I’m just adjusting , that’s all” Peter answered. “With May gone, Ned and Michelle not in school, its been... off, but I’m figuring out” Peter added softly,

If by ‘figuring it out’ Peter means resorting to so many self destructive coping mechanisms, then he is totally figuring it out.

“Kid..., you’ve been so different. Distant and sad. You know I’m here if you need anything right?” Tony told Peter.

“I know, I’m fine though. I’m okay”

Tony opened his mouth to reply but then Pepper and Morgan walked in. Peter thanking the gods above him. But when he looked at Mister Stark, he was giving him a look clearly stating this conversation isn’t over.

The day continued on as normal. Peter almost forgetting Mister Stark wanted to talk to him. Key word ‘almost’.

But Peter must’ve looked pretty damn tired because Tony didn’t follow him to his room.

He reached his room. Staring distantly at his ceiling. ‘Fuck it’ he thought as he went to his back pack and pulled out drugs. In his defense, he didn’t actively try to bring drugs to Tonys lake house. He just happened to hide a large stash of it in the backpack he chose to pack his clothes in.

Peter kept going and kept going. He knew he was already bordering on too much drugs in his system. But he hasn’t taken any in a few days and he’s desperate and he cant stop. He sipped from the left over vodka bottle and he was feeling pretty okay. Laying on the bedroom floor high and drunk off his mind. He only got up to snort another line. ‘Just one more’ he promised himself. But one became two , two became three, three became five, and five became... he had lost count.

One second he was doing a line off his laptop and then the next he was laying on the floor gasping for breath. Oh god he cant breathe , cant move , cant scream , he’s throwing up and choking, he’s dying , he’s...

“Please...” he mutters with his last breath as he drifts from consciousness.


End file.
